Friday Poem – ‘Some Therapists’ by Bryony Littlefair

~ Seren Books

As it is Mental Health Awareness Week, this week’s Friday Poem is ‘Some Therapists’ by Bryony Littlefair from her debut collection Escape Room.

This cover shows a collage depicting a woman in a 1950s style dress standing next to an easel showing the torso of a smartly-dressed man standing in front of a burning building. A large fork of lightning strikes the sky behind them. The text reads: Escape Room. Bryony Littlefair.

Bryony Littlefair’s debut collection Escape Room explores the possibilities of freedom, goodness, meaning and connection under late capitalism. Can we escape the imperatives of money, gender and human fallibility to freely construct our own identities – should we even try This complexity is balanced with a resolute joy, humour and irony. If you’ve ever grappled with ‘a desire you could not understand / like wanting to touch dark, wet paint’, had an identity crisis at a corporate away day, or just not known what to do with your Sunday morning, the Escape Room is open for you.

Some therapists 1. One believed in karma. 2. Another would take a drag on their cigarette and say fuck it, here’s what I think you should do. 3. Number three took payment in the form of origami animals I had to fold myself. 4. Refused to laugh at my jokes, but sometimes a giggle escaped anyway. I started living for those lapses in composure. 5. Made me speak to them from the next room, so I’d have to shout. 6. Believed in God. 7. Would tell me what they were doing that evening – baking a ginger loaf, going to a wine bar with their cousin. 8. Would say I’m so sorry for your loss, I’m so sorry for your loss, over and over – when the last person I loved who died was my Grandad and that was three years ago. It was a peaceful death and he was 91. I’d say all this and they’d just look at me with wet, earnest eyes. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how much pain you must be in. 9. Read all my poems tenderly, forensically. 10. Read none. Showed no interest whatsoever. 11. Took payment in the form of poems. 12. Had a pen-pot on the desk when I arrived. Twenty minutes in, swapped it for a candle. Forty minutes in, swapped the candle for a bunch of flowers. 13. Spoke only in nonsensical, reassuring idioms: Perhaps we could give him the benefit of the snout. Let’s call it a play. Hang in bear. You live and burn. 14. Spoke only in song lyrics, and by the time I realised this we’d already been working together for six months. We can’t return, we can only look behind, they’d say gently, or You don’t have to try so hard, and my eyes would well up. 15. Believed 9-11 was an inside job. They never said this, but I could tell. 16. How can I be happy? I begged. That’s not the question you really need to ask they said carefully. But it is! I swear it is! I cried, slapping the table. 17. Silently moved their chair around, so they were sitting next to me. 18. Leant forward and said What is it you’re not telling me? 19. Paid me. I keep thinking about going back. 20. Had a rule about eye contact. Look at me, and I’ll tell you about it.

Escape Room is available on the Seren website: £9.99

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